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Dear Jose

Dear Jose

Sorry to hear about you getting the sack from Chelsea. They always were a bunch of ingrates. Anyway if you’re looking to get straight back on the horse, Fulham have been keeping the Head Coach role vacant for just such an occasion. Here’s a list of reasons why you should think about taking over at Fulham:

• You wouldn’t need to move house.
• You don’t need the money by the sounds of things so you could focus on taking a job for the love of the game.
• You could immediately promote your son to the first team.
• You’d be away from the spotlight, Sky Sports don’t even have directions to Motspur Park.
• Ross McCormack > Radamel Falcao
• Weekly Geordie Shore viewing parties at Dan Burn and Shaun Hutchinson’s houses.
• No John Terry
• Instead of a Russian owner who thinks he knows everything, we have an American owner who doesn’t claim to know anything.
• You get an Owners Box ticket to the Jacksonville Jaguars v Indianapolis Colts next October.
• Unlimited cups of Bovril for only £2.20 a cup.
• We never win anything so you wouldn’t need to worry about John Terry stealing everybody else’s thunder at the trophy presentation.
• Sightseeing trips to Bolton, Rotherham and Preston.
• We classify a 1 goal home defeat to Bournemouth as a good result.
• You can select your own pre-season tour venue, as long as you don’t mind 3* hotels and dressing rooms where only the cold water tap works.
• You don’t have to play Cesc Fabregas, but we’ll look the other way if you bring him with you and stick him in the reserves.
• Instead of an underground music venue that sometimes hosts jazz concerts, we have a defender called Jazz, therefore cutting out the middle man. You can have all Jazz all the time.
• The referees are all too rubbish in the Championship to be biased against you.
• Lilly Allen used to support Fulham and then switched to Chelsea. Need we say more.
• Fulham can beat Juventus in Europe.
• You’ll get two opportunities to beat Chelsea next season.
• Cauley Woodrow’s banter.

Well, I think that’s fairly conclusive.

See you soon

Yours, Fulham x

Mourinho’s son signs for Fulham

Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho’s son has signed for Fulham.

The 14-year-old goalkeeper has joined the youth set up at Craven Cottage after a successful month long trial at the club.

Jose Mario previously played in Spain for Real Madrid’s Canillas team while his dad was manager at the Bernabeu.

But Spanish newspaper Marca claim Mourinho Jnr has opted not to follow his father to Chelsea and instead play for Fulham at Under 14 level.

The contract is for one season because that is the longest a player of his age is allowed to sign when playing abroad.

The young Mourinho will hope to follow in the footsteps of his grandfather Jose Manuel Mourinho Felix who also played as a keeper and won one cap for Portugal in the 1970s.

Does ‘the Special One’ have a ghostwriter?

After having read the column by Oliver Holt in todays Mirror one has to ask the above question. Most people who know me also know that I don’t have a lot of time for the “journos” who writes in the tabloids, but this is a new low.I’d advise Stephen Hunt to ask his legal representatives to have words with the ‘rag’.

Just this last sentence makes me sick.

-“Petr Cech might be in a bit of a state but Hunt and his knee are doing just fine. Sighs of relief all round.”

Does this poor excuse of a journalist actually think that Stephen is doing fine? I’m quite sure (without knowing the lad) that he feels terrible like any human being would. Sure he made the wrong decision, but I’m 100% sure he regrets it. Does this poor excuse of a journalist actually think that Stephen is doing fine? I’m quite sure (without knowing the lad) that he feels terrible like any human being would. Sure he made the wrong decision, but I’m 100% sure he regrets it.

Coleman on how he outwitted Mourinho

Chris Coleman admits the world wants to see Chelsea beaten and he may have solved the riddle of how to do it.

Jose Mourinho has only lost four league games since arriving at Stamford Bridge in 2004 but Coleman won their tactical battle on Sunday.

The Blues were beaten 1-0 in a stormy west-London derby and the Fulham boss hailed it the best result of his short managerial career.

Coleman said: “They’re the champions and no matter who they play, whether it’s a team at the bottom or one of the top teams, everyone wants to beat Chelsea now.

“Everyone wanted to beat Manchester United when they were bossing things and there was a lot of controversy in their games, I played in one or two myself.

“I understand that. They’re at the top, there’s a lot of pressure on them and everybody wants to beat them.”

Coleman’s players were outstanding but the manager’s masterstroke was to suffocate Chelsea’s supply-line from Claude Makelele, who likes to sit in front of his back-four and dictate the flow of the game.

Fulham reacted by sending Steed Malbranque to play in the hole behind the strikers, in the same area of the pitch as Makelele.

Coleman said: “Every time we play against Chelsea or every time we watch them play, everything goes through Makelele and he starts the attacks.

“Steed Malbranque loves playing in that position, he likes attacking from that position but he’s not very good at defending.

“We told him to go where he liked when he had the ball but, as soon as he didn’t have it, Makelele was his man.

“We wanted Petr Cech to kick it rather than pass it out and it worked very well.”

Coleman knew his gameplan was working when Mourinho abandoned his favourite 4-3-3 formation after 26 minutes and sent on subs Damien Duff and Didier Drogba.

The Fulham boss said: “He changed very early. He got Duff and Drogba on and tried to match us up through midfield which I thought was a compliment for our boys.”

Fulham condemned Chelsea to only their third league defeat of the season – the others came at Manchester United and Middlesbrough – but the Blues remain 12 points clear at the top of the table.

Coleman said: “I think they’re beatable. They’ve lost before this season but if I was a betting man I wouldn’t bet against them winning the championship again.

“They’re the best team and they’ll win the title again I’m sure. They’ll win it by a margin.”

Coleman’s relegation fears have been greatly eased by the win over Chelsea but his next tactical battle is to win a game away from Craven Cottage.

Fulham are the only team in the Premiership without an away win all season and they travel to Aston Villa on Saturday.

Coleman said: “We have to go away from home and play the way we did against Chelsea.

“You can’t just turn up away from home and expect to play. It’s about digging in, teaming up, fighting and if we do that we’ve got a chance.”