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Now, as discussed previously I’m fairly superstitious about my football and I’m all for omens too, good or bad. If I can hold my breath all the way through the tunnel the train goes through I know it’ll be a good day. If I get to the station and a tube pulls in just as I get there, Gatesy’s onto a winner. This season Fulham and my two mates sides seem to mirror each others results. So come five-o-clock on Saturday afternoon I knew what way it was going when I saw that both Northampton and Dagenham had both lost.

At some point City were going to hit for and smack somebody for six. Unfortunately that occurred on a day when our defence was on a job swap with Zippos Circus. Probably unlucky to only find the net the four times, City were totally in control for the entire match.
You would imagine, given the history, Sparky was well up for putting one over on his old employers which makes the limp performance from the Whites even more astounding. Tevez breezed past the defence like a knife through butter. Yaya Toure looked worth every penny of his £220,000 a week wages as he chipped with a move that involved 25 passes before he scored, which is record this season. With Diego Maradonna sitting in the Riverside as the Chairman Mo’s guest, The Sun reported that he:

‘Inspired fellow countrymen Carlos Tevez and Pablo Zabaleta to drive City on to one of the best performances of Mancini’s 11-month reign’.

However when interviewed after the game Zabaleta didn’t even know he had been there at the game. Quite why this surprises me, when The Super Soar Away Sun still lauds that Ray Lewington is our caretaker gaffer on its website. *sigh*

And quite why Chairman Mo would invite such a person to The Cottage is beyond me. Saying of the recently departed, and much missed, Paul The Octopus Maradonna was quoted as saying:

“I am happy you’re gone, psychic octopus, it’s your fault we lost the World Cup”

It seems to go without saying that we’re finding ourselves in a relegation scrap now. Hopefully for us there are three worse teams than us in the league. Thankfully we’re in the same league as West Ham, Wolves and Wigan.

West Ham travelled up the country to see our old mate Roy. While both of them have played the trouser dropping, custard pie in the face clown act this season, Liverpool decided enough was enough and actually played some football. It was destined to be an easy game for them with West Ham last winning at Anfield in the sixties. Glen Johnson and Maxi Rodriguez both scored and Kuyt from the spot put the Hammers to the sword, and could have had more if they hadn’t eased up in the second half. Without Gerrard, injured on international duty, the reds didn’t really have to break sweat to win the three points. As always, both sets of fans believe they’re the best in the world and have a god given right to results. So the Scouse fans kindly laid off Hodgson for the evening, whereas the travelling fans gave a rousing chorus of You’re getting sacked in the morning’ to their man. Grant has now spent 12 months in the bottom three places of the Premier League with both Pompy and West Ham.
Blackpool picked up another win at the expense of Wolves on Saturday. Luke Varney with a goal that certainly wasn’t meant to be a cross into the box and Marlon Harewood notched for the Tangerines with Kevin Doyle making the final minutes interesting. Wolves haven’t kept a clean sheet yet this season and with nine defeats in their last 11 games, they remain entrenched in the bottom three, while the hosts are back in the top half.

The baggies we convincing beaten at home by Stoke City. Two penalties and a John Walters strike, all in the second half, were enough for the Potters. Stoke move to eighth.

Staying in the midlands, Birmingham pulled off the surprise result of the weekend by beating that lot down the road 1-0. Ben Foster was buzzing in goal with a string of decent saves, helping to protect the lead Bowyer and lashed home for the home side. Although dominating for the entire match, the champions lost two back to back league games for the first time since 2005. After sacking assistant manager Ray Wilkins mid-week (at half time during a reserves game if rumours are to be believed) and the side desperately missing Terry, Fat Frank and Dirty Essien, rumours were abound on Sunday evening that Ancelotti had handed in his resignation only to have it not accepted.
Man Yoo took advantage of the Blues slip up by beating Wigan 2-0 at Old Trafford.
Wigan also ended the match with just 9 players after imploding and having Alcaraz and Rodallega both shown red for iffy looking challenges. The Latics started brightly but were made to pay for missed chances on the stroke of half time with Evra’s first goal in three and a half years. 12 minutes into the second half Rooney entered the Old Trafford pitch since that whole debacle a few weeks back and after the two red cards United doubled their lead through Hernandez.

Arsenal managed to throw away a two goal lead against their nearest neighbours. After comfortably winning the first half with Nasri and Chamakh getting on the score sheet they just didn’t turn up for the second half. The comeback was started by the bestest player in the world ever Gareth Bale with Van Der Vart and Kaboul completing the comeback. With Defoe coming back for Spuds too it worrying that they may not be the comedy side they have been. So much so in fact, ‘Arry reckons they could push for the title.

So why on earth can’t we win it? We have a great set of players here and we are a match for anyone on our day. I’m not a ­dreamer I’m a realist.”


Bolton gave Newcastle a tonking and kept their push for a European spot going. Goals from Davies, Elmander and Lee, with a solitary Newcastle reply from England new boy Carroll.
The Trotters were further boosted today with news that Elmander, who’s contract was due to run out in the summer, has signed a years extension.
The Under new Ownership signs were up at Ewood Park, with Big Sams boys paraded for their new Indian bosses. Eager to impress, Rovers came out hells a poppin’ and Pederson gave them the lead just before the break from a well worked free kick. He struck again in the second half to secure the points in a game which saw the return of Robert Pires to English football. On the 20th May, after being released by Villarreal, Pires went to MLS side Philadelphia Union. He returned home quite soon after he was quoted as saying:

“I do not want to be difficult, but left to take my family away, I’d rather do it in a beautiful city, Otherwise, I will put an end to my career.”

Last week he joined Aston Villa who are based, as well all know, In Birmingham. Which, as we all now, is NOT a beautiful city.

Off the pitch Villa have told Redknapp to keep his filthy hands off Ashley Young:

“I’m sure Harry Redknapp must be wondering what’s going on.

“But I can tell you the reports about Ashley and Spurs are not keeping me awake at night.

“That’s because I can say here and now that Ashley Young will not be going anywhere in January. Absolutely not.

“They would have to buy this club for that to happen. They would have to come in with a ridiculous amount of money.”

Off the pitch, this week just gone Gazza told the assembled media of his latest venture. It would appear him becoming a non-league manager was just a collective dream we all had and he’s set to become an actor now, in a remake of ‘Escape To Victory’.

“I need to get well to take on the role. This is my last chance at getting my life sorted and having a career as an actor. It was a favourite film of mine”

And tonight we look forward to Monday Night Football in the shape of Everton and Sunderland battling it out.