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As has probably been mentioned in other reports on here over the last 48 hours or so (I can’t tell – I’m operating without glasses at the moment. Something very exciting could happen right in front of me and I wouldn’t have a clue!) Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson was at the Cottage on Saturday afternoon to see Fulham come alive in the second half and see of the Germans.

Now, the papers have assumed that the Knight of the Realm was there for a cheeky look at Ozil before putting in an offer for him. This would make sense as, it would seem everybody except SAF has noticed they could be a little short in the middle this year. Or perhaps he was there just for a bit of scouting while he was in town, which again makes sense.

Or my theory is that after three weeks of pre season he’s realised he’s dropped a clanger and popped round to see if Al Fayed has cashed that cheque we got in exchange for Smalling a few months back.

Talking of the mediocre defender he’s been making all the right noises you’d expect a new, young signing to be making after joining Man United. He appears to have found a father figure in Rio too.

“I like to bring in the sort of attributes he’s got. Every young defender should look at him and learn”

“But Rio’s are big boots to fill”

Would those be the boots in which he filmed a sex tape with Dyer and Fat Frank, carried out a bit of drink driving, ‘forgot’ to turn up to fairly important drug tests,  received a further three driving bans for dangerous driving and made homophobic comments on national radio? Look and learn young Chris, look and learn…