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Journalists love the close season. It gives them carte blanche to sit in their offices dreaming up silly stories in the name of transfer speculation.

Here’s one I particularly enjoyed from the Daily Mail website:

West Ham boss Avram Grant is monitoring contract talks between Fulham and Dickson Etuhu and has expressed an interest in St Etienne striker Gonzalo Bergessio.

Etuhu, 28, who is with Nigeria at the World Cup finals, has one year left and is hoping for a long term deal.

I’d love to know precisely how the reporter knows Avram’s ‘monitoring contract talks’ between Fulham and Dickson. Has he tapped up Dickson’s phone? Furthermore, with the player at the World Cup and the chief executive also out of the country I’d be amazed if talks were in progress at the moment. Etuhu, a regular in Roy’s first-choice side when he hasn’t been injured, is almost a certainty to be offered a considerable contract extension and is happy at Fulham. That should be the end of the matter.