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Sir Alex Ferguson’s stand-up routine is actually pretty funny. The Manchester United manager reckons that the Craven Cottage dressing rooms are too small – and that could have contributed to the champions’ defeat at Fulham.

With all the money in the Premier League, some grounds should be better. There should be a minimum standard of size of dressing room, especially now you have more players on your bench and an increased staff. You have requiements for stadiums to be eligible for certain divisions, so the quality of the dressing room should be part of that.

Everton’s are so narrow it is unbelievable. Portsmouth’s away dressing room is not great and the one at Craven Cottage is smaller than my office. It is a very traditional stadium and one of my favourite away grounds, but when you have 18 players stripping down, plus coaches, physios and kit men, it is ridiculous really.

I didn’t hear him complaining when United put four past us in the FA Cup.

Any thoughts that the size of the away facilities could provide Fulham with a home advantage is laughable, though. The home dressing room is actually smaller than that provided to the visitors. Another example of friendly Fulham, eh? And, if they don’t like it, the away side can always can always get changed in Bishops’ Park or on the bus.