What’s that I hear you say, you’d rather pull out your eyelashes one by one?

Well, I can well understand that, but if you weren’t laughing through our absurd sequence of 0-0 draws, you will be now. Orm’s magnificent Virtual Match Reports have reappeared and they are well worth a look.

Check out how he neatly deals with three forgettable games in one go.

There’s still no sign of last season’s Great Escape as we were promised in the summer, though.