I don’t tend to read the Evening Standard for two reasons.

1) It’s a rubbish newspaper.

2) It means I don’t have to look at David Mellor’s ghastly face.

For those of you – and I realise there are quite a few of you who read this site from overseas – who don’t know who David Mellor is, he was a particularly unpopular Conservative MP for Putney during the 80s and 90s who was often wheeled out as a celebrity Fulham fan. Until he changed his allegiance to Chelsea. As you do. He was also involved in a bizarre sex scandal that typified the levels of sleaze a very unpopular Tory government had sunk to.

Ever since he started supporting Chelsea, he’s had an unfathomable loathing towards Fulham, which ever now and then surfaces in his Standard column. Quite a newspaper would give Mellor, an MP who no particular knowledge of sport or any personal sporting history, a sports column is beyond me but there you go.

Anyway, he’s been at it again in this week’s column:

For the last 10 or 11 games Chelsea have been awful, and to ship late equalisers to outfits like Fulham and Southend is unforgivable.

Of course, there’s no need to give a plucky side like Southend any credit for getting a draw at Stamford Bridge, is there? And you wouldn’t heap praise on Fulham, would you? The team you used to support? No, absolutely not, you cretin.