Tottenham are poised to pinch Joao Palhinha on loan from Bayern Munich on loan with a £25.95m option to buy, according to Peter Rutzler and pretty much everyone else.

I’m not sure Joao has consulted with Sean Davis, Steed Malbranque, Clint Dempsey, Louis Saha and company on how the Cottage compares with the stroll from Seven Sisters station, somehow.