Milly Burnham was a lifelong Fulham fan who died in September after bravely battling multiple sclerosis. She wrote this piece just before her passing – and we publish it today with the kind permission of her family.
Living in Stockport for more than a decade, it is always interesting when people ask me who I support. Even having held onto a distinct London accent, strangers are surprised when I reveal my lifelong allegiance to Fulham Football Club. ‘Why?,’ they ask – perhaps with some justification since the Whites have been a source of almost weekly aggravation since my first visit to Craven Cottage in 1990. The answer is both simple and complicated.
I usually explain that it is a family thing. ‘Oh,’ my conversational partner usually replies, ‘did your parents take you, then’? That would be a no. My Dad died in a car accident when I was a young child and my mum, as she put it, was far too busy for football. The family I refer to is my Fulham family. Growing up in Hammersmith, there was always only going to be one team for me: even if the top flight seemed further away than Australia when I first started following a Fulham team that seemed to struggle to string three passes together. My neighbours took me, introduced me to their kids, and soon a little clan of youngsters were kicking a ball around in the Crabtree beer garden before and after home games.
It was in the Crabtree – which has morphed into a yuppie monstrosity far removed from the community pub it used to be – where I met the editor of this website. Dan might have been writing about Fulham for nearly two decades, but he’s been annoying me for far longer. We’d talk about Fulham, football, schools (we went to different ones since he grew up in Acton) and lost touch for a while before bumping into each other again on otherwise miserable trip to Chesterfield as teenagers. He has cerebral palsy, I have multiple sclerosis so we make quite a pair celebrating Fulham goals, but the bizarre bond has brought as close as any of my remaining family.
The Fulham faithful are like that. Four or five of mates, dotted around the globe as they forge careers and families of their own, only have one passion in common. One is an investment banker, another a laywer and a third an accomplished artist. We don’t share each other’s politics – which is a touchy subject with Dan, as most of you will already know – but continue to marvel at Marco Silva’s mighty Whites. Every away trip also offers the chance to meet more Fulham followers, with our number in the northwest augmented by the arrival of several Craven Cottage regulars to Media City in Salford after the BBC moved north. My pints after work in Duffy’s with various members of the Fulham family helped me through the sudden break up of my marriage and dealing with the darker times during my illness.
Fulham fans are erudite and, mostly, well-balanced with an interest in the wider world. That’s what makes following the Whites a special experience. My group of friends insist on visiting an art gallery – or some site of historical importance – ahead of an away game, even if they draw the line at scoffing a Victoria Sponge. I have to concede that the commemorative cheeseboards produced by the club following our extraordinary Championship success last season were very popular. The European tours were legendary. I still have no recollection of getting home after that brilliant night in Basel, but we made it and continued celebrating all the way through a marvellous win against Manchester United over the weekend.
My Fulham heroes will always be an eclectic bunch. I bow to no-one in my love for Lea Barkus and I was utterly convinced that Duncan Jupp would be Scotland’s right back for years to come. Then I was entranced by the tricky feet of Paul Brooker before always being reassured by the calming presence of Steve Finnan. Sean Davis broke my heart when he left because I thought he’d become one of us and, somewhat strangely, I don’t think I’ve felt the love I have for Brian McBride for anybody else. If anyone ever epitomised fair play and an unstinting commitment to excellence, it was our American attacker who got absolutely everything out of his ability and left it all on the field. Then there are all the wonderful women who have worn the black and white: when Mohamed Al-Fayed returned from the 1999 World Cup and invested in a professional women’s side, I had heroes who convinced me that I could play the game. Thank you Kim Jerray-Silver, Rachel Unitt, Katie Chapman, Rachel Yankey, Marianne Spacey and so many others. I was crying when Mary Southgate, who grew up watching the Whites from the Hammersmith End like me, handed the Championship trophy to Tom Cairney last April – and I know I wasn’t the only one. It is brilliant to see Mary and her team-mates inspiring a new generation of young girls and I hope they’ll get to play at our historic home themselves soon.
Perhaps the biggest thing of all is Craven Cottage itself. Whichever way you walk, from Putney through Bishop’s Park, or along the river from Hammersmith, it is a magical approach to a unique ground. History surrounds you, whether in Archibald Leitch’s astonishing architecture along Stevenage Road, the Cottage itself, the wooden seats in the Johnny Haynes Stand or the ambiance of a place that remains as a throwback to how everybody used to experience football. Under the lights and by the river, the romance is something else. The brilliance of Fulham surviving for so long and Shahid Khan’s commitment to renovating the Riverside Stand, is that London’s oldest professional football club won’t ever play anywhere else. That also means that thousands more kids will share in their own wonderful Fulham experience like I did. How lucky we all are.
Milly received superb support from the Multiple Sclerosis Society throughout her life. We would love to encourage donations either to the Society or the Fulham Foundation in her memory.
Thank you for sharing Milly’s words with us all. Beautiful article. Best wishes and all our thoughts with Milly’s family. COYW.
What a lovely read. Thanks for sharing. RIP Milly
what a wonderful read from this amazing women. I would have loved to have met her. I know exactly where she was coming from. Sincere condolences to Milly’s family and friends. There is something magical about Craven Cottage. Once it’s got you it never lets you go.
Oh, Mils.
You’ve just made me cry.
I loved our chats in Duffy’s and all the other places across Greater Manchester that dragged me too (but I won’t mention). I’ll get very drunk in memory on Saturday.
Miss you so much.
Chloe xxx
COYW!
P.S. Hope you’re doing okay, Dan! You come out of this quite badly, but you know she loved you more than even Brian McBride.
This resonates with me so much and is wonderfully expressed. Ive been a supporter since 1958 and my family have followed me in my passion. Let’s make sure we keep our family feel, be kind and supportive to each other and fair in our dealings. We have a great reputation to uphold.
Thank you for sharing, the players you mentioned I remembrsonwell. I do, and will always believe, that FFC supporters have that special bond that no other club can touch.
Beautifully written, evocative and emotional. It got me thinking about which players made the most impact on me over the decades and I decided on several who did not make Mary’s interesting selection. RIP. We all have such amazing and varied memories, thanks to the Cottage and all who have passed through its doors or lingered at its gates.
Beautiful words from one of our own.
Thanks up there Milly for sharing your passion with us. RIP.
Much appreciation for publishing this fab letter, a very special lady, Milly – RIP
Her final paragraph was so touching. Brought tears to my eyes and being able to share the beauty of craven cottage now with my son is very special indeed. R.IP
I am so sorry to hear the death of Milly, I like her supported FULHAM from 1990, my family did not take me to any of the games, however my love for the club grew as they had squad members come to the school in Ewell Surrey to teach and have a game of football, it was great, my condolences goes to Milly’s family and friends, I know she will be looking down on our club and helping us achieve great things,. RIP Milly
I am a 70 year old Grandad I have only cried on a few occasions and I am tearful now, what a wonderful article I sit in the Hammy End never met Milly I am proud to be part of her Fulham Family and would love to have known her She sounds a Special Lady That’s why this is a Special Club
God Bless You
What a lovely piece says exactly why we are a family club.
Thank you Milly as well as your family for publishing this lovely article which acurately shows what it is like to support our wonderful club.Molly Rip
Beautifully written about our special club
RIP MIlly
What a lovely tribute to Milly and our ‘ family ‘ club. I have been supporting Fulham since my Dad took me to watch on Saturday afternoon, I was 8. No Riverside stand, just open terraces and Johnny Haynes leading the Whites out on to the pitch
It’s a wonderful club with a very caring and supportive atmosphere – RIP Milly
Superb piece of writing from the heart. Sincerest Condolences to the Family and May you Rest in Peace but watch over Craven Cottage and the FULHAMITES
I myself have an autoimmune condition so it saddened me to learn the passing of Milly.
I have been supporting the club since 1974, however I have definitely different heroes then those that Milly mentions!
When I take my seat in the Putney End I I will be thinking of Milly and taking pride in the family element that runs right through the club.
Milly Burnham your one of our own!
What a lovely article, reminding me why I love this club so much, and even making me reminisce on Lea Barkus’s unique talents! It’s the people, and it’s the place. This Fulham family is a very special thing, and having being held by their love in recent months I send my love along with so many others to Milly’s family and friends. I’m sure she will be watching from the Cottage in the sky xx
What wonderful words. Completely captures what football, Fulham and the memories shared mean to us all.. Thoughts with all who knew Milly- she sounds a remarkable person. RIP ?