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I love rubbish excuses. You know the kind, when somebody is really clutching at straws to explain something and they come up with something truly pathetic. Some of my favourites include an acquaintance of mine who couldn’t make it down the pub consecutive weeks due to his front door being broken, his TV was broken, and another when he was locked in his porch (I like to imagine this being like some kind of human zoo scenario with a crowd of his neighbours gorping in at him until his mum came round to rescue him).

But even International players appear to be jumping on the rubbish excuse band wagon. One of my favourites was SAF explaining that we only beat them the other year beacuse our dressing rooms aren’t massive, but it appears the England squad are at it. According to Capello’s twitter feed  (he posts in an Italian acent, I have no reason to disbelieve its really him) that Robert Green blamed his muff up on the possible appearance of a mole underneath the penalty area, and then this morning, according to the Daily Mail, Emile Heskey blamed his miss on the fact the balls a bit lighter than the ones he’s used to.

Now I’m hoping that this is a trend which will continue for the rest of Englands participation in the cup. I’m particularly interested to hear when Rooney blames him going absent for large portions of games on the fact that Wright Phillips put him off by cheating in Eye spy on the coach or when one of the keepers blames his muff ups on playing too much Super Nintendo games… oh hang on a minute…