Dear Santa,

As I have been such a good boy I have some things that I’d like for Christmas.

  1. A solid central defender in his mid-twenties with a lot of pace.
  2. Brian McBride reincarnated, we need to be able to replace him for many years to come. (A reincarnated Gerd Müller would work too)
  3. New stewards for Craven Cottage. Santa, we would love to have some people with half a brain working as stewards instead of the non-service minded, tribal like group of dimwits that are dressed in orange now.
  4. A new set of songs for the fans, we could use a lot of help in creating a better atmosphere at home and away.
  5. Either if you could give Lawrie Sanches some tactical knowledge or maybe replace him with a coach of the “Tigana breed”.

Merry X-Mas!

Yours Faithfully,

Nick the Swede